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The Apostle Paul said that he was torn between wanting to be with the Lord and recognizing that to be with the people was more important.  And his conclusion was that he would remain with the people for the sake of their benefit in the Lord.  I understand that quandary.  And I see his reasoning in this matter.  To be with the Lord is a sure thing for those who are called by the Lord as His people.  We only have a limited time to infect others with the message of God.

Yet I also see why he desired to be with the Lord.  This place is not our home.  And the desire to go home is intense.  And there is another aspect of this which bears mention.  The Lord said what was true when He said that a prophet is not accepted in his home town.  It is the nature of men to exclude the title of holy from any who’s history is presented to their memory.  That is to say, if a few people know my history, they will never accept the words I now speak on behalf of the Lord of Life.  To them, I am simply a fool who thinks too highly of himself.  And this will be the case as long as I am in this place of testing.

But when I am not here for their fingers to point at, what is left behind has the potential to become something far more than it could have when they knew me.  Now I appear as a fool.  Then I will become part of those who have passed through.  And in the end, what I leave behind becomes greater in their eyes.  What a curious but true phenomenon. 

So I desire to leave this place.  Not because I am sick of the “crap”.  Because I know that these words will gather more power when I am not here for them to accuse.  While I am still here, pride will reign more than service, both within me and within those who read these words.  When I am with Him, there will be no more opportunity for pride, neither in me nor those who read these words.

So I desire to leave this place.  In the Apostle’s condition, his remaining was well founded.  For he had lived a life worthy of living from the beginning.  From my condition, I have not.  So, for the benefit of those who might read these things, I desire to leave this place.

By His Grace.