Daily Archives: April 6, 2014

Going out

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I struggle hard to get used to it.  When I am not among people the sting fades.  The reality is remembered but the burden is softer.

Prayers are lifted.  Intent is sharpened.  I purpose to do well next time.  When it is time to venture out, desire consumes me to leave myself behind.  But I come along for the ride anyway.

Once with them, blinders of mercy strive to cover their sin.  But their behavior is so blatantly wicked, it is impossible not to notice.

The Lord has taught me his gospel.  And I wear a hat that speaks of eternity.  It is an emblem with a silver cross on a dark blue hat.  The words simply read “Think Eternity“. They see me coming and turn away.

Then the moment comes when conversation is inevitable.  This is the moment I dread the most, for now I will open my mouth.  Just a few words pass and the difference is clear; not only clear to me but brilliantly clear to them.

At some point you see them strive for opportunity to leave.  The simple witness of a man has opened a chasm.  Before they perceive it not.  But now it looms before them, bringing terror.

I did not speak the holy words of Christ in front of them.  That opportunity did not show.  But the views of life within me made themselves apparent.  And the differences between us are stark.

Yes, I dread going out to meet with people.  Not because they are wicked, but because I am such a weak fool.

Christ Jesus within me is strength beyond measure, wisdom eternal, mercy unending.  I look for opportunities to share what is within me.  But opportunity is a fleeting animal.

They are trained to avoid confrontation with the Most High God.  They are trained to love their neighbor by being inclusive and embrace their sin.  They are taught to avoid the confrontation between truth and lies.  And they have learned their lesson very well.

Choose to do right

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A couple of decades ago I was sitting in a college classroom.  The topic of discussion must have been effects or morality.  And I remember telling my classmate that, “If a man knew the full punishment for his wicked behavior he would choose to do what is right.”

My classmate disagreed with me.  He was sure that the wickedness of man could not possibly do one good thing for the right reason.  I knew when he said that that he had not understood my statement.  But it would have been a useless argument.  For I confess I did not fully understand it myself then.

But with years behind me I have come to understand it more clearly and still agree that, “If a man knew the full punishment for his wicked behavior he would choose to do what is right.”

Isn’t that what we experience when we really give full credence to the sacrifice of Christ Jesus?  To the measure we understand we are compelled to serve Him righteously.

And I understand my classmate’s position.  Man is wicked to the core and hopelessly destined for death.  But my statement did not say the man would be righteous.  It said he would choose to do what is right.

The only resource I have to prove my statement is true is what is found within myself.  It was so with the Apostle Paul also.  We cannot look at others and divide this quandary.  For when we look at them for this reason we find ourselves judging them.

I do find that I choose to do what is right.  And my desire to choose finds the sacrifice of Christ for its engine.  So I strive all day to choose what is right.

Come nightfall however, assessment directed backward shows me I failed miserably.  Many times a holy depression encompassed my heart.  “How can I find myself so desirous to do what is good for the sake of my Lord,yet fail so horribly as if on purpose?”  Isn’t this the very question so many of us ask?

While the world will not even recognize that there is such a thing as sin, Christians come to know it as a Being.  To the Christian, who struggles so desperately to do what is right, sin is a living breathing animal within us.

What is the answer to this?  It is that the law of God is righteous.  It is that we are the ones rightfully condemned to death.  It is that the hope of the gospel is all the brighter because of this understanding.  And the glory of Christ is unsurpassed.

Only he has conquered sin.  He is the mercy of God in which we can fully trust.  We can trust no man nor even ourselves.  But we can put complete trust in the one who has overcome.

Choose to do what is right.  By all means make your choice and obsession.  But recognize that you fight against a living organism of rebellion. 

This brings up an interesting topic that I am not worthy to address.  We are commanded to be holy, as he who calls us is holy.  Yet we find ourselves living in far less. 

What shall be done, what shall be said?  I smell the answer.  I perceive there is a conclusion to this difficulty.  But I have not yet laid hold of it.  If I address this now it will not be complete any more than my statement 20 years ago. 

For now I rest, as should be for all, in the fact that Jesus is the Son of God.  I rest in his ability to save me.  I rest in His promise that there is a place where this living and breathing wickedness will be stripped away never to rise again.  All the while I will force myself to choose to do what is right.

The following is from Romans chapter 7.  I thought it would be good to include the transcript of the Apostle’s understanding.  May the Lord grant us mercy that we can understand this personally.

14 “We know that the law is spiritual, but I am not spiritual since sin rules me as if I were its slave. 15 I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate. 16 And if I do not want to do the hated things I do, that means I agree that the law is good. 17 But I am not really the one who is doing these hated things; it is sin living in me that does them.”