Throughout the night, the last song I heard playing continues to echo in my mind.  Exhausted as I was, I slept well.  But the power of the song continues.  Even all my dreams were touched by endless sorrow.

I wake with a heavy heart.  For the things I have done in my life will not leave me alone.  This is a picture of the life I lead for decades.  It is a haunting echo of the man I was.

With desperation I realize I need a friend.  I need someone who is not like me.  I need someone whose resources are endless.  I need someone near me who can care.  This is, of course, the Living God in Christ Jesus.

I hide from men as a loner, because I do not want to teach them the things I have done.  If I speak to them face to face, the testimony of myself comes to the surface.

I push the Lord forward before me, between they and I, that they will not assume a wicked life can have any righteousness.

The song is “Blue Christmas”.  I am void of explanation that I should have any joy at all.  The things I have done in my life are death.  My value is to die, and to die, and to die.  If it had not been for the mercy of God, I would be dead already.

This is my testimony before all men, according to the things I have done. 

I know I am not alone.  Everyone of you can testify the same.  If every man is honest with his history, death is all he ever was.  And without the life that God offers, no man has hope.

But isn’t this the reason why I testify so vigorously?  Because the One with endless resource has offered his bloody hands to me.  He teaches me to receive.  He promises me a new song. 

I cannot live in my past, for it is nothing but death.  I cannot live in my present, for memories drown me in sorrow.  And if it were not for the Living God, to come and touch me with compassion, my future is nothing but darkness of death’s promise.

This is what this blog of testimony is all about.  I write that many may have life.  I speak as loudly as I can about the endless resources of God to love you.  I speak as loudly as I can, to educate every man regarding his own worthless life.  Let them perceive the disparity and yearn for health.

God is mercy.  He holds out his hands all day long to every man, woman and child.  “Come, let us reason together.  Though your sins are as scarlet they shall become white as wool”.

Hope!  Precious and vibrant hope!  This is what the Lord offers!  Yet with a heavy sigh, I wonder who can take it.

Who is willing to lay down their precious death?  Who is willing to abandon their regretful memories; their only solace in the dark?  The compensation of man for the nature of what he is.

Yes Christianity requires much.  There is holiness to attain.  But in this work there is life.  We are death.  We are headed to death, and all we have is death. 

All the while God stands.  Life, promise and pure integrity, is held out for any who come and take it.  To die is easy.  For that is what we are.  To live, simply requires laying down death.

This is the new song he gave me, as I sat with heavy heart.  He reminded me of the new song that waits to be sung.  The compassion of God is not a fable.  It is in fact, the endless resource for life.

By His Grace