My past has brought me to a place where I should not have arrived.  Yet what shall be said?

From birth, the desire of God was not the sin I embraced so tightly.  He had plans for this soul which did not include the wickedness that covered me.  Yet today, I find myself where I stand.

Now I seek to know Him with diligence; that I might receive His Holy wisdom, that I might understand His Holy will to the doing of it.  Before His Holy Throne, He knows these things to be true.  Yet my doing is clouded with two things.

First it is clouded with the teachings of man I have embraced in the past.  Though I seek to be released from them, they obscure purity of understanding.  Thus my doings are diminished to some degree.  So be it.  What can be done with the mind a man brings to the Gospel?

Secondly is the testimony this past brings to the people who have known me while my sinful ways appeared before them.  It is not enough for me to say, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his home town and among his own people”.  This puts the blame on others.  I will not allow that before His Holy Throne.

Should we resist His teachings: “. . . do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”?  And what shall we do with the following scripture: 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5)

I search these things this morning.  I search to own His Wisdom for these things.  I find certain truths waiting for me, as I appear before Him.

I was not obedient before He taught me His ways.  I balked at those who taught the truth.  How then am I different now, than those who oppose my testimony?  Yet, how can I settle for their balking?  (The specific problems that provoke this introspection are not worthy of public display.  Suffice it to apply to the things which accompany your own testimony)

What is the answer?  How can it be anything other than continuance of the things that provoke the Holy Chasm between men?  The Gospel divides by its very essence.  There is the Holy, and there is the way of man.  They collide at the very presentation of God’s Holy covenant in the Blood of His Holy Son.  It will not be dispelled.  Jesus remains a rock of offence.  And all who embrace His Lovely ways, will become some measure of that offence.  To myself I must yell, “DEAL WITH IT!”

I have resolved, by the demands of our Lovely God’s commands, to obey.  Not because I have agreed with His Holy ways in the past, but because He provokes me to adore Him.  I will continue to display love.  I will continue to serve.  I will put on patience.  I will learn!

If they do not perceive, what is that to me?  If I make it my dedication to notice their refusal, I will fall into a certain judgment of their rejection.  That will bring this difficulty directly before the Holy God’s Holy Throne.  He will be forced to judge between us.  How can I count that as “good”?

Without trying to be self-righteous, let me expose a portion of my prayer in regard to these things.  “Lord, Holy God of all good things, do not judge between my brother and I.  Let the fault rest heavily on my shoulders.  Do not hold anything against any man in regard to me, but free them all from accusation.  No one can sin against me.

But let me embrace your Holy wisdom.  Cause me to understand what must be done.  Show me how to make things right.  Be strong with me, I beg you for mercy in Your Holy and Righteous Son, teach me your perfect way.

Let them be a fire against me.  But do not count that fire as sin.  Release them.  But ignite me.”

Can we rightly respond any other way?  We are the ones who receive eternity, at the hands of His Holy Promise of Mercy.  How should we ask for retribution for some perceived “wrong” done to us?  (Even if that “wrong” is a rejection of the Gospel we have come to adore.)

And how should I shake off the dust that comes from the lives of those I am put in place to love?  How shall I leave them?  How shall I put up a wall against them, and between us set a chasm?  The answer rings like a mighty bell on a hillside, NEVER!”

May the Holy Lord of Life grant wisdom to the doing of these things.  May His eternal freedom clothe all His people.  May we, indeed, become that brilliant light He has given His perfect Blood to secure.  May we strive to be godly and holy in all our dealings of this sort.

Glory for all Good things belongs to He alone who is Good.  We are but a shadow of His Righteousness, even as we “accomplish” His Rightful Demands.

Amen.