I would live alone in a cave, deep in the woods. That would be my choice were this world the end of my life. For anxiety fills me when I am near my brothers of flesh.
I am not anxious because I am afraid. I become anxious because they are anxious. Questions do not pester them. And answers, not requested, elude them. I become anxious, for the living God within me demands testimony.
So if given my choice, I would remove myself from them. But their anxiety leaves me no choice.
The very things that God has shown me, force me to desire to stay. And this desire is stronger than my own.
In this, those I meet are neither righteous nor wicked. They have simply appeared beside me along my way. And I will speak.
The message of God within me is a thriving holy crop. And I will gladly offer a bounty to the hungry stranger. I must refuse to eat alone.
I toil in the garden all day long, sweating neath the Blazing Sun of his Righteousness. Weeding my garden with the tools of judgement, restraint, and mercy. Forgiveness carries the living water. And his crop grows taller everyday.
I will not go seek the place of peace in this world; the peace as my flesh defines it. For the Holy Lord of Life has set me in a place. His love calls sweetly, and I will obey.
What is it to me that anxiousness should fill my heart? It has replaced terror and confusion. I will not return. It will not leave though I swat at it as flies.
Embrace it I must. Embrace it I will. Shall I throw down my cross seek peace? NEVER!