CAUTION:

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ MAY OFFEND YOUR SENSE OF SELF WORTH.

MY INTENT IN THIS POST WAS NOT TO CONSOLE THE MASS OF HUMANITY.  I’VE REALLY TRIED HARD TO OFFEND EVERYONE IN THIS POST.  IF YOU FIND YOURSELF UNOFFENDED AFTER READING THIS, PLEASE INFORM GOD.  PERHAPS HE WILL REMIND ME OF SOME OTHER STATEMENTS. 

“You’re not in a boat that is sinking.  You’re getting ready to go swimming.”

“You’re not about to drown.  You’re about to drink a whole lot of water.”

“You’re not going to be eaten by sharks.  You’re helping feed the earth.”

“The world isn’t corrupt.  It’s only doing what it can get away with.”

“You wouldn’t have done that if you knew what was going to happen.”

“You’re not sinning.  You’re only doing what comes natural.”

“Liberal thinking isn’t wrong.  It’s simply questioning the definition of the word truth.”

“You don’t have to work for a living.  If you look pathetic enough long enough, someone else will feed you.”

“Nobody owns anything they weren’t given by the government.”

“If you do enough good deeds God will accept you.”

“The state of the world is God’s fault.  After all, He’s the one who put the two trees in the Garden of Eden.”

“I am not a liar.  I just don’t tell the truth sometimes.”

“Just because somebody asks you to stop doing something doesn’t mean they really mean ‘stop’.”

“Sexual immorality isn’t sin.  It’s just testing the waters.”

“I know you didn’t mean to kill him.  After you stabbed him the first time you were just being merciful to stab him the other hundred times.”

“It’s only a yellow light.”

“The cops won’t give you a ticket for only breaking the speed limit by 5 miles an hour.  Besides, you’re in a hurry.”

“Jesus isn’t the only way to God.  God just thinks of Him as His Son.”

“God watches to see how you dress, what kind of car you drive, how much money you can make, and how popular you are.  He uses those things to determine how good of a person you are.”

“You can make up your own rules about God.  It’s ok.  There’s too many versions to be sure anyway.”

“It’s ok to believe God is just a myth.  After all, no one has seen Him.”

“Panic on my part is justified if you failed to plan your life.  After all, I am my brother’s keeper, right?”

“Marriage isn’t restricted to a man and woman.  It’s the union of really good friends.”

“It’s ok to take that paper clip from work.  They’ll never miss it, and you need it more than the company.”

“You didn’t kill anybody.  You just caused them to cry a little bit.”

“You were only late for work because you over slept.  It doesn’t mean you don’t care.”

“It’s ok to not read the Bible.  After all, it only makes you feel bad.  And there’s just too much bad feelings in the world already.”

“You’re not a bad man.  You just get a little violent once in a while.”

“It’s ok to look down on the stupid people.  After all, you know what’s right.”

“Prayer isn’t all that important.  (shrug shrug)  God knows everything anyway.”

“If you do what everyone else is doing, God will forgive you.  After all, you’re only human.”

“When you find someone who’s done something worse than you, it’s ok to hate them.”

“Jesus is willing to forgive everyone’s sins (even the most horrible).  But your sins are too much.”

“You’re not going to be judged by the Most High God.  You’re only going to get a chance to see what this ‘Hell’ thingy is all about.

Eternity isn’t that long.