Tag Archives: hopelessness

The Singular Enemy

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I have an enemy who stocks me day and night.  Nothing I do, ever escapes his notice.  He is more agile than any beast of the field, and can do more damage than any lethal weapon of man.

Though I do the very works of God, he stands ready to destroy.  With the slightest of movement from his vicious hand, he can undo years of accomplishment.  And my only hope of escape from his prying eyes is death itself.

What kind of creature is he?  And what name should I give him?  I am not speaking of the father of lies.  I am speaking of myself.

By His Grace

Victorious in Loss

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Among people, who are those who suffer well?  It is those who own nothing of what they own.

These are prepared to lose everything, even while they have it all.  It is the one who is determined, while in wealth and health, to die penniless and miserable.  This one cannot be held hostage to expectations full of error.  If prosperity of possessions continues to a peaceful death in his own bed, such a one will have lived his life without fear of loss.

Though all he has is taken.  Though sickness viciously tears at his body.  Though the wicked greed of man rips his belongings from his control.  This one will prosper.

Yet is it enough to be stoic in our life?  Is it necessary to pass by the loaf of bread while you have money and hunger?  Is it right to purchase the rust bucket chariot so that you will suffer the pains of upkeep?  Is it required of us to live under a pile of leaves in a part of the forest we don’t, and can’t own?  Such people are not being responsible with what has been given them.

What provokes the Responsible life?  Is it the desire of a man to become completely humble among all men?  That mind-set is produced from the pride of life.  Pride can’t, by its very nature, produce humility.  Such a man might feel pretty proud of himself, after all, he has forsaken what other people crave.   But his humility is crushed by a whisper of pride.

Jesus provokes the true strength of life.  His strength in a man is beyond ALL the things of this world.  Because His teaching and “in dwelling” comes from Heaven; a place which has never entertained the temporary wealth of this place.  And NEVER will.

If we want to be strong.  If we want to endure with stellar conviction.  If we want to live that “over coming” life, we will have to appropriate the teaching and character of the Lord Jesus.  While we live in relative peace, it is best to be prepared for the worst.  Let us not compile “things” so that we will be able to endure hardship.  Let us prepare our heart to be God’s champion, even if the entire world comes after us.

How does cancer become a trophy to be desired?  How does molestation become a crown of joy?  How does losing our job, or place in the family,  become a stepping stone to eternally born victory?  All these things, and the myriad of things that can happen to a person, become glory when we embrace failure.  We love our weakness, because it gives us an opportunity to overcome!  Even our own sins can become trophies of Grace.  Such things  can produce a certain kind of humility that cannot be manufactured by the desire of a man.  Nor can it be purchased by any of our possessions.

We encounter hardship for the sake of Christ.  We encounter hardship for the sake of testifying that God’s love and promise are vastly more, and true, than anything the world can provide.  We testify that life can be lived, even while this world has strapped us to a post in the middle of a raging fire.  We can clap our charred hands, even while the skin of our bodies walks toward becoming a lump of coal.  Thus, we encourage others to love the God who bestows such incredible strength.

Let us testify that God in us, is greater than all things.  Prosperity, health, wealth, sickness, persecution, joy, poverty, alienation, or fame,  cannot take away the riches of Christ in any man!  It is the man who counts any of these things as more valuable or stronger than the promise of God.  This is the one who will likely lose it ALL.

The Way HOME

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Open, wanton, sick and twisted;

Is the box of flesh your soul resides in.

Closed, Holy, Life and straight;

Is the path of life we’re given from Him.

Say you are able to find the way Home,

And your tongue will make you a liar.

The only way Home to a wayward soul,

Is consumed by The Holy Fire.

How can the flesh endure His great thrashing?

What strength does it have to remain?

The soul either emulates all that is passing,

Or submits itself to be tamed.

By His Grace

She Never Told Me

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I don’t like to write long posts.  With the flavor of society today, very few will read if they see a lot of words.  But it can’t be helped.  What I’m about to write is worth a volume as thick as “War and Peace”.

My mother was born to a wealthy family in New England.  She met a young cavalry man when she was 11 or 12.  One night the ladder went up, and she was gone.  They had eloped without a word. 

She never told me what happened afterward.  Surely there was a phone call or a letter.  But she never spoke of it.

I remember hearing once that her father disowned her.  His heart was broken.  His dreams of family crushed.  No grand babies to laugh with and hold.  No more smiles regarding his beautiful daughter.  But she never spoke of this.

The couple moved from state to state, rarely staying in one place for more than 6 months or a year.  By the time I was 7 years old we had moved from Rochester New York to Salem Oregon, living in almost every state between.

The majority of those seven years was spent in the backseat of a car.  But she never told me why.  She never apologize for the childhood that did not come.  And I don’t know why.

Her gallant young cavalry man turned out to be a vicious incestual Lord.  Drunk as often as he could be, he squandered his life in brutality.   The three daughters he had, knew him as far more than daddy.

The oldest one moved away and became a prostitute.  (She is long dead now, so I don’t mind telling you.)  The other two daughters married Canadians and moved away from the house as quickly as possible.

Her oldest son disowned her, because she was not a Jehovah’s Witness.  The other two daughters followed suit.  As soon as I could, I joined the airforce at 17, just to get away from the stench of our life.  Only my youngest brother remained.

The brutal man who gave us birth, developed an affection for a woman in the congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  When I was 12 my parents were divorced.

As a family, we lost it all.  And she never told me why.

I remember, in the days just after the divorce, a song came out regarding the dreams of an everyday housewife.  I remember her saying clearly, “I hate that song!”   But she never told me why.

She died in a nursing home, abandoned and alone.  The excitement of the ladder had turned to an entire life of horror.  And she never once told me why.

Had someone warned her of what was due to come she would not have believed them.  She would have laughed in their face with that little girl smile. 

Ripped from her family, by the lust of a girl, she encountered the beginnings of a horrible end.  But she never spoke of that moment.

By the time before she fell ill, she had married five other men.  I hated to call home, because I didn’t know who daddy might be.  And she never told me why.

Without knowing why, I mimicked her life.  Without planning, I followed her every step.  Women and drinking, drugs, willful abandon, and the life of poverty, belonged to me.  And she never told me why.

I do not write this to shame my mother.  All told, she was a good woman.  When I look back, and dismiss the difficult things,  what I find is an exemplary human being.  She did the very best she could with what she had.  But she never told me why we lacked so much.

I write this because I know there are so many out there who have done the same things.  Have you told your children why?

As I raised my family, sanity appeared.  One day I woke and vowed to break the chains.  I told my children of my own foolish ways.  I had found Christ Jesus, and truth began to flow.

What has happened as a result of my own foolish ways is yet to be told when I am dead.  I would tell you the result of my life of sin.  But I have caused enough suffering.  Why put it in writing and tear at the hearts more?

Have you told your children why? 

By His Grace

Confidence of an Incompetent Buffoon

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I want to testify about something that I think might be helpful to many.  If something can go wrong for me, it already has.  It just hasn’t appeared before my face yet.  To add to that, I seem to be prone to make a number of really foolish choices along the way.  In short, I expect to fail. All told, I’d call myself stupid but I don’t think its proper to elevate one’s self.

Evidently this is the nature of Who I am.  And there are many who are like me.

There are a million and a half accomplished human beings. I fall into the majority of humanity.

With that said, I want to address the topic of confidence.

Confidence is a very fickle human quality.  By in large, most people have a false confidence.  I mean, they think they are something because someone has told them so, or they have fooled themselves into believing they are something.  All the while, their very soul knows the truth.

A person’s confidence has to do with comparison to others.  If someone strokes your ego, you think you are something because they compare you to someone else.  But in fact, others are being compared to you.  Sounds like a formula for complete devastation.

That’s all fine and dandy.  It won’t stop just because I pointed it out.  But why do people pay so much attention to their confidence level?

The answer has to do with fear. People are horrified to think that others would realize they are only incompetent buffoons.  So they keep testing the water and fishing for compliments.

But what if no compliment ever comes?  Is the person destined to be devastated for their entire life here in this place of testing?  The answer is no.

There are butterflies, Birds, cats, dogs, horses, grass, trees and stars that do not compare us to others.  Often people who have a lack of compliments toward them will turn to such things.  Curiously, as a result people praise them for loving nature.  Ya hoo!  They got confidence!

But the fear doesn’t leave, does it?  Instead of having a bold spirit you simply turned your attention to something that can’t attack you.  You put a little finger bandaid over an amputated arm.

I have found that as I have to turn to the Lord Jesus Christ, I am accepted.  By faith in the words he spoke, I am someone!  And he promises not to ever turn away from me!

Yes I’m an incompetent buffoon.  But in my lord Jesus, I am precious enough for him to die on a cross to save me.

With this brand of confidence I can agree with the writer who said, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

That doesn’t mean I become an accomplished human being.  It means that the incompetent buffoon has found someone to love him.

This confidence despises human comparison.  It learns to make fun of my failures.  It generates an unquenchable hope.  And I no longer fear humanity.

The only thing I fear now is that I might displease him in some way.  But this is residual trash from the things I have been taught as a man.

Believing his words, I have confidence to approach the Most High God!  What is it to me if men compare themselves?  What is it to me if they think I really am an incompetent buffoon?

All it took was to believe in the Son of God.  Not at all an impossible task, when I realized I was a fool. 

If men have despised me, it has worked out for my salvation.  If they purposefully diminished me and cast me aside,  it was for my benefit.  Who needs the confidence of men when we have the confidence of Christ?

On a side note I will say I feel sorry for the beautiful people of this world; those people who are beautiful in the eyes of everyone, and have all the ego stroking they can get.  Since they have acceptance they are not likely to look for anything else.  But I would caution them to remember: you will get old, sick, frail, and eventually die. 

Where will your confidence be as you stand before the Most High God, naked and ashamed?  You’ll be standing there with all the people who thought you were something.  They won’t think so highly of you then.

Depravity Without End

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All men are the same.  Though life is found in billions of variations, at their base, all men are the same.

I could point to our need to be loved.  But there are men who do that in a seducing manner already.  They use our need to be loved, as a tool to get what they want.  From soap, to sex and to acceptance, there are men who manipulate that necessity.

I could point to our physical frailty.  But there are men who exploit every facet of the human body.  From ailments to physical beauty, men exploit others for the sake of gain. 

I could point to our mutual end; that inevitable place of death.  But even there: inheritances are fought over.  The plot of land is sold at a high price.  The casket is ornate and costly.

But I will speak of our depravity.  How worthless men are for doing what is purely good.  And how completely unable we are to change our situation.

Let us lay aside our former sins, and we would still find ourselves unable to do what is pure and good.  We are hopelessly depraved.  The judgment of God waits to receive us.  Yet who among us has considered the severity of our plight?

Men are careful to look for the singular things they do, which will draw judgment upon them.  With meticulous mind they strive to avoid the obvious.  Murder, adultery, hatred, discord, jealousy, lies, and the like, are the focus of their eyes, as they peruse their situation. 

They look for the obvious, while they miss the subtle.  But any sin, no matter how small, can throw us into condemnation on the day of judgement.

With diligence, men strive to avoid these obvious pitfalls.  But the size of such sins masks the horror beneath.

“I have not murdered.  Therefore I am better than my brother who has.”  “I have remained faithful to my wife (or husband).  Therefore I am a righteous man (or woman).”  “I am patient and compassionate to those of lesser value.  Therefore I am merciful even as God is merciful.”

With endless proclamation, men justify their life.  It is as if they rehearse what they will say to the living God on that day.  And they prepare by comparing!  Oh how men love to compare!

Billions of dollars are earned for the sake of man’s valued comparisons.  One is left to eat from the trash bin, because he was found unable to compete.  He was compared by society, to what is held in high esteem, and thrown to the wolves for his lack.

Another counts himself beautiful and well endowed.  He competes with great skill.  Comparatively speaking his body is beautiful.  And comparatively speaking, his mind works well, to gain what he desires.  He is the one who is honored among men.  For he is compared to the man who eats from the trash bin.  And the beautiful one is exalted to the highest places.

For our pride, we will be judged, by he who is perfectly humble.  For the sake of our greedy desire to gain, we will be judged by he who has given everything he has.  For the sake of our love of division, we will be judged by he who is the same yesterday today and forever.

If you have thought that you can stand before God on the Judgment Day, it would be good for you to rethink your position.  The Holy One has spoken that no man will stand on his own.  God has proclaimed that every man is a liar.  And the smallest infraction against his Holy Law, is deserving of only death.

Men conveniently overlook their own faults.  With desperation, they search themselves for what might be considered good.  Though what good they find is small and rare, they hold to these things with a deadly grasp.  But God sees the entire man.

At whatever place you think highly of yourself, you are severely mistaken.  You have compared yourself to others.  This is the source of your confidence.  But men fail to compare themselves to the Living God or his Holy Son Christ Jesus.

If you are still willing to listen I will tell you a truth of hope.  All need not be lost!  A way has been made for every man to stand strong on the Day of Judgment.

Your complete lack of what is good has been seen by the Holy Lord.  His Holy and Faithful Son’s sacrifice can cover you with confidence on that day.  But do not think you will wait for his covering when you appear before the Most High God.

There is holy work to do within you even now.  To appear with confidence before the Most High God requires a certain garb.  A man must be dressed in righteousness, holiness, a distinct lack of willingness to compare, and a vibrant willingness to forgive the sins of others.

As I pointed out before we are not capable of such attire.  Man, if left by himself, can only become dressed in everything that is wicked.  The very place we live demands it. 

Accept the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus.  Put down your own perceived righteous behavior.  Learn from the Lord what he expects from all men.  Humble yourself before the Living God.  Pray, and seek His face.  Present yourself to him as you are.

If you wait until the day of judgement you will be sorely hateful of yourself.  You will not be welcomed with open arms.  You will be cast away without the slightest regret.  On that day, no amount of tears or violent anger will change his mind.

There is a transformation that needs to take place here.  We must learn to submit to his leadership.  We must become worthy. 

Without him we can do nothing.  But with him we can overcome the selfish desires of man.  By the work of God within us, we can become like the Lord Jesus.  But this requires a humble submission from us.

There are millions who think they have a free pass to eternal life.  By speaking of few words, they count Jesus as their Savior and Lord.  But there is no change in their heart, mind or desire.  These, very many people, will be horribly surprised.  For man is condemned before he appears before God!

The only ones worthy of eternal life are those who do the will of the Sovereign God in Christ Jesus. 

If you do not fully understand what I have said here, do not bother to ask me to explain.  The Bible is freely available in almost every place of the world.  And prayer is only a knee bend away. 

If you are looking for a man to tell you what to do, you are looking in vain.  Only Jesus the Christ is able to save your soul.  We can point you to him, but we have no strength to save you. 

And if you look to men to help you are, by comparison, ignoring the command of God. 

You will stand all alone and naked on that day.  The teaching of no man can clothe you sufficiently.  To put it in the way of the Bible, you need to be washed and clothed in the Holy Blood of Jesus.

By His Grace