The Lord came to me, in the Promise to all men: “I will be with you, teaching you what is right and good to do and be”.  And so I grew in His Holy wisdom.

Misunderstanding dressed me, as He offered His pledge.   “He has made me a righteous man; by knowledge, He has lifted me from sin to righteous doings.”  But days passed.  Years came and went.  Though knowledge came, I found sin and folly were bound up in me still.

Perplexity confronted me.  In my days and nights I pondered.  “How can I know these things, yet do the abhorrent?  Where is the fruit of purity?  Where are the things, among my belongings, that pleased Him so in His Holy Son?”

Desire to become, rages within me.  Yet I find mistakes.  Where I expected to find clarity of truth, I found only sparadic (as if by mistake) “good works”.  How can such desire, diligent desire, produce such shoddy a crop? 

How could it be, that I should set my hands upon a sturdy and well honed plow, hitch it to such a strong and well trained work horse, set my eyes on the singular oak at the end of my field, yet plow such a crooked line?

And if I had reached into my bag of seeds, placed each one by careful measure, covered them with tender fingers.  Why does my field produce bitter and wicked fruit?

Wisdom brings the answer, two fold.

I had not emptied my bag of seeds; that only good seed might remain.  My balance is not perfected.  Knowledge, within me, lacks a studious audience.  And my expectations are those of a child who puts his tiny feet into his daddy’s giant shoes: “I see him walk well in these.  I will also use them to do the same”.

And wisdom speaks from far beyond the ability of man: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builder builds in vain”.

“Be patient, my frail and tiny child.  I hold your promise in my Holy hand.  When I call you to be an eternal man, you will have your desire in full.”

By His Grace