The Wasting


The man who sits and does nothing will surely waste away.  Exercise and learning are necessary parts of our body and mind.  All kinds of diseases and ineptitude come because the man does nothing with his body or mind.

As it is with the body, so it is with the soul.  The soul that is not fed on truth, will surely waste away.  But to whatever extent the soul is fed truth there is a strength that comes.  To whatever extent we listen to the living God in Christ Jesus we become stronger.

A level of righteousness does appear.  A level of ability to restrain sin does appear.  A level of vibrant prayer does appear.  And faith blossoms, if it is continually watered by the Holy Word of God.

Feed the body on wasteful living and it will become useless.  Feed the soul on wasteful lies, and it will become useless.

These are the rules of life that cannot be broken without consequence.

By His Grace

She Never Told Me


I don’t like to write long posts.  With the flavor of society today, very few will read if they see a lot of words.  But it can’t be helped.  What I’m about to write is worth a volume as thick as “War and Peace”.

My mother was born to a wealthy family in New England.  She met a young cavalry man when she was 11 or 12.  One night the ladder went up, and she was gone.  They had eloped without a word. 

She never told me what happened afterward.  Surely there was a phone call or a letter.  But she never spoke of it.

I remember hearing once that her father disowned her.  His heart was broken.  His dreams of family crushed.  No grand babies to laugh with and hold.  No more smiles regarding his beautiful daughter.  But she never spoke of this.

The couple moved from state to state, rarely staying in one place for more than 6 months or a year.  By the time I was 7 years old we had moved from Rochester New York to Salem Oregon, living in almost every state between.

The majority of those seven years was spent in the backseat of a car.  But she never told me why.  She never apologize for the childhood that did not come.  And I don’t know why.

Her gallant young cavalry man turned out to be a vicious incestual Lord.  Drunk as often as he could be, he squandered his life in brutality.   The three daughters he had, knew him as far more than daddy.

The oldest one moved away and became a prostitute.  (She is long dead now, so I don’t mind telling you.)  The other two daughters married Canadians and moved away from the house as quickly as possible.

Her oldest son disowned her, because she was not a Jehovah’s Witness.  The other two daughters followed suit.  As soon as I could, I joined the airforce at 17, just to get away from the stench of our life.  Only my youngest brother remained.

The brutal man who gave us birth, developed an affection for a woman in the congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  When I was 12 my parents were divorced.

As a family, we lost it all.  And she never told me why.

I remember, in the days just after the divorce, a song came out regarding the dreams of an everyday housewife.  I remember her saying clearly, “I hate that song!”   But she never told me why.

She died in a nursing home, abandoned and alone.  The excitement of the ladder had turned to an entire life of horror.  And she never once told me why.

Had someone warned her of what was due to come she would not have believed them.  She would have laughed in their face with that little girl smile. 

Ripped from her family, by the lust of a girl, she encountered the beginnings of a horrible end.  But she never spoke of that moment.

By the time before she fell ill, she had married five other men.  I hated to call home, because I didn’t know who daddy might be.  And she never told me why.

Without knowing why, I mimicked her life.  Without planning, I followed her every step.  Women and drinking, drugs, willful abandon, and the life of poverty, belonged to me.  And she never told me why.

I do not write this to shame my mother.  All told, she was a good woman.  When I look back, and dismiss the difficult things,  what I find is an exemplary human being.  She did the very best she could with what she had.  But she never told me why we lacked so much.

I write this because I know there are so many out there who have done the same things.  Have you told your children why?

As I raised my family, sanity appeared.  One day I woke and vowed to break the chains.  I told my children of my own foolish ways.  I had found Christ Jesus, and truth began to flow.

What has happened as a result of my own foolish ways is yet to be told when I am dead.  I would tell you the result of my life of sin.  But I have caused enough suffering.  Why put it in writing and tear at the hearts more?

Have you told your children why? 

By His Grace

Confidence of an Incompetent Buffoon


I want to testify about something that I think might be helpful to many.  If something can go wrong for me, it already has.  It just hasn’t appeared before my face yet.  To add to that, I seem to be prone to make a number of really foolish choices along the way.  In short, I expect to fail. All told, I’d call myself stupid but I don’t think its proper to elevate one’s self.

Evidently this is the nature of Who I am.  And there are many who are like me.

There are a million and a half accomplished human beings. I fall into the majority of humanity.

With that said, I want to address the topic of confidence.

Confidence is a very fickle human quality.  By in large, most people have a false confidence.  I mean, they think they are something because someone has told them so, or they have fooled themselves into believing they are something.  All the while, their very soul knows the truth.

A person’s confidence has to do with comparison to others.  If someone strokes your ego, you think you are something because they compare you to someone else.  But in fact, others are being compared to you.  Sounds like a formula for complete devastation.

That’s all fine and dandy.  It won’t stop just because I pointed it out.  But why do people pay so much attention to their confidence level?

The answer has to do with fear. People are horrified to think that others would realize they are only incompetent buffoons.  So they keep testing the water and fishing for compliments.

But what if no compliment ever comes?  Is the person destined to be devastated for their entire life here in this place of testing?  The answer is no.

There are butterflies, Birds, cats, dogs, horses, grass, trees and stars that do not compare us to others.  Often people who have a lack of compliments toward them will turn to such things.  Curiously, as a result people praise them for loving nature.  Ya hoo!  They got confidence!

But the fear doesn’t leave, does it?  Instead of having a bold spirit you simply turned your attention to something that can’t attack you.  You put a little finger bandaid over an amputated arm.

I have found that as I have to turn to the Lord Jesus Christ, I am accepted.  By faith in the words he spoke, I am someone!  And he promises not to ever turn away from me!

Yes I’m an incompetent buffoon.  But in my lord Jesus, I am precious enough for him to die on a cross to save me.

With this brand of confidence I can agree with the writer who said, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

That doesn’t mean I become an accomplished human being.  It means that the incompetent buffoon has found someone to love him.

This confidence despises human comparison.  It learns to make fun of my failures.  It generates an unquenchable hope.  And I no longer fear humanity.

The only thing I fear now is that I might displease him in some way.  But this is residual trash from the things I have been taught as a man.

Believing his words, I have confidence to approach the Most High God!  What is it to me if men compare themselves?  What is it to me if they think I really am an incompetent buffoon?

All it took was to believe in the Son of God.  Not at all an impossible task, when I realized I was a fool. 

If men have despised me, it has worked out for my salvation.  If they purposefully diminished me and cast me aside,  it was for my benefit.  Who needs the confidence of men when we have the confidence of Christ?

On a side note I will say I feel sorry for the beautiful people of this world; those people who are beautiful in the eyes of everyone, and have all the ego stroking they can get.  Since they have acceptance they are not likely to look for anything else.  But I would caution them to remember: you will get old, sick, frail, and eventually die. 

Where will your confidence be as you stand before the Most High God, naked and ashamed?  You’ll be standing there with all the people who thought you were something.  They won’t think so highly of you then.

Willing Heart


I tell you a truth.  I do not worship God because I am a righteous man.  I worship God because he has shown me how to love him. 

The world is mistaken.  They see God as a taskmaster, a demanding and angry Lord.  Even all the divisions in the Christian Church appear because of this. 

But man is horribly in error.  It is written, “Unless the Lord builds a house the builder builds in vain.”   The truth of that comes home when a man understands that the Lord is willing to build His Holy house within him.

I could continue with my own words but to no great advantage.  Let me place here a more beautiful way of saying all these things.

“Once I stumbled in the darkness
doing only as I pleased.

But, I wasn’t really happy,
And, my heart was not at ease.

I just didn’t have the willingness
to follow His commands,

‘Til I layed my heart completely in His hands.

If you don’t have a willing heart,
ask Him to give you one.

If you can’t seem to make a start,
Trust in His power.

For the Lord of Love is watching you,
He sees what you’re going through.

And, He can make a way,
If you want Him to.

Oh, do you want Him to?
… Then, tell Him so.

(Kelly Willard “Willing heart”)

If you want to live, simply ask.

“Yes!”


God says, “Yes“.  And he has engraved that Holy Word in the Holy Blood of his Holy Son across all creation!

He says “yes” to our desire to live forever.  He says “yes” to everything that is righteous and good.

If we do not live, as if he has said “yes” to us then, by whatever measure we fall short, we call him a liar.  It is established that God cannot lie.  So then who are we to refuse his answer?

He says “yes“, and so there is sure joy toward the promise of eternity.  He says “yes“, and so we become a righteous people in His Holy Christ.

The first is to believe and be set free from all the things that bring failure and shame.  The second is to “become” and overcome sin and temptation.  The first gives us strength to honor his Holy Name and testify with great boldness, even in the face of hatred and ridicule; even in the face of wicked and unholy doubt. 

The second gives our testimony the strongest possible foundation.  This is the strength to stand with glory; that standing which causes men to wonder and marvel.  We become His “yes” before their very face

God has said “yes” in the very suffering and blood of His Holy Son.  He has said “yes” to the destruction of all who do not believe and remain in the filthy death of unbelief.   He has said “yes” to any man who desires righteousness from his Holy Hand, and looks for it earnestly.

How do we dare say no?  Let us combine our knowledge with faith, and rise up to give Him the glory that is rightfully His! 

Let us not be like those who fell, dead forever, in the desert!  Let us be as the example of Stephen, his holy and righteous servant!

The Search


I am not an accomplished professor of all things.  There are vastly more things I do not know than what I do possess.  I am not a smart man, as men would call one smart.  I am vastly more a fool, than wise and elderly.

The time I have left, to be among the things of this world, is far less than the years I have already seen.  And my time to become what men speak of a “special” is passing quickly.  If it has not passed already.

But I will impart what I have learned.  Perhaps there is benefit to some.

I have examined the world from the perspective of sin, and found it utterly lacking.  In the way of sin, I have walked more vigorously than most.  And so I can testify with surety.  Life is not there.

I have examined other religions from a distance, as I sought release from my pathetic state.  I did not have time, nor inclination to immerse myself in their teachings.  To do so would have required pledging myself.  I did not possess such earnest intent.  Nor would time allow.

But every religion established by man is full of fault and worthless tripe.  None of them held sufficient truth to remedy my plight.  They said “do”, but I could not.  Therefore life is not found among them.

I examined the law of God and found it true.  I speak of the law of God as found in the Holy Bible, not as men say is the law of God.

I found the law of God in the Holy Scriptures to be founded on eternity.  But one does not need read far, to realize the Holy Law of the Living God is more than man can accomplish.

In the law of God I found life.  But by the law I found I was put to death.  At last my struggle is over.  But what should I do, am I to die?  Is that the summation of this struggle?  I still had desire to live.  So though law of God is life, I found myself dead in its reading.

Now I will testify of what I have found. 

There is one who has fulfilled the law of God on behalf of all men.  He is willing to enter a man’s sin and drive it out.

Now this is life!  All he asks is that I am willing.  Having searched what is, of course I am willing.

I have proof in my soul that he has come and made drastic change.  I have proof in this testimony that he is true and able to save.  I find that I believe.  So I proudly wear that name.  I find myself doing the things I thought were too hard for a man.

If I had last words, these would be it.  Search for all you will, you will not find anything greater than Christ Jesus.  He is Life!